After reflecting for a long period of time,
and praying hard to the Lord for answers,
and also the happenings of the past few weeks,
i have decided,
to take a step to change.
As i look back at me,
mulling through my days in unhappiness and discontentment,
i really feel ashamed.
at this date,
the ones i love have labelled me as useless,
and i am unable to deny it at this point of time,
yet,
i have decided to work on that,
and one day i'd prove to them that i'm not as useless as they think i am.
And the one i love, Cedric,
has gone through so much and have changed for the better,
i dont see why i cant do the same for him.
a relationship is not all about me,
but its about the both of us.
i dont know how long it'd take for me to gain back your trust in me,
but i'm willing to take this step,
and slowly work towards gaining your trust once more.
i know for the past few weeks, nearing 60 days,
i have not been a good nor reasonable girlfriend,
being caught up in my own troubles,
which as you said,
i created.
i'm really sorry about those times and i really would like to seek your forgiveness.
and i hope that one day,
either soon or in the near future,
our mutual trust will be restored.
i know i have become a cold and horrible person,
but i'm willing to change. for you. for myself. and for the people around me.
& i love you.
i really do.

and to GOD,
i'm really sorry for the times that i havent been faithful nor faithfool to You,
i've been too caught up in my own life and troubles to remember that You are always beside me.
and i thank you for adeline's prayer for me during this year's omega night.
Lord, thank you, for it has assured me that You are always beside me,
even when i'm sad, even when i feel lonely, even when i'm troubled, and when i'm happy,
thank you so much Lord.
and as i have recommitted my life unto Your Hands once more,
i'd do my utmost to stop cursing and swearing with vulgarities when i'm angry or frustrated,
but trust in You instead,
and i'd work towards growing spiritually toward You. Amen.

yeah well.
its really early in the morning! ><
caught some sleep earlier but yeah. kept on waking up..?
so decided to go online and do sth that i have finally decided to do..?
as the title says "a step in faith and love".
yeah well.
guess i'd do some qt,pray and have a good rest after that..?

miss&love you, my love. x3

late nights and early morning.
ciaos.