i admit i got turned off by certain things.
and i certainly am pissed off.
but all i can say is.
dont ask me why.

for i wrote my misgivings in the sand.
the wind blew it away.
not too long later, the particles were blown back.
and when i carved my happiness on the stone.
you struck it off with a blade.
which marred it forever.

every memory was a blade.
sticking itself deep into the pits of my heart.
ripping it into a million shreds.
and left to the eagles.

and from that day on.
i knew that love was not to be trusted.
and promises were meant to be broken.
none of these worldly desires nor creations,
were worth of thy trust.

nevermind. i'm just lost in the world of misgivings.
lost in the whirl of confusion.
and alone in the dark corner of this world.
there's been some things that i really want to let out.
instead of bottling it down.
but in the end, i just keep it inside.
i've wanted to apologise.
if you thought it were my mistake.
and all would be fine.
but my stubborness would never permit that.
for i felt i'm not in the wrong.
almost a month has past.
and each day feels emptier than the previous one.
you may smile as i suffer.
for you will never see me cringe.
even at the sight of the pain.
and now all i'm trying to do.
is to endure the endless pain life is bringing me.
many a times, i wonder why.
why is this like this, and not the other way round.
why is all these pain landing on me.
why do i feel so empty, when i'm supposed to be filled with love.
from my friends,my family and my sweetheart?
why is the world so void?
is my perspective set wrong? or did i wake up at the wrong side of the bed?
what wrong did i exactly do?
all i really want to do now,
is just to break down and cry,
and end this life of agony.

this day,
has been a fking tiring and boring and painful day.
bottling up all the emotional conflict within me.
and keeping a smile on my face.
netball was a literal waste of time.
and got reprimanded cause i went to canteen to slack.
i have a DAMN mc for goodness sake.
why do i have to waste my time there when i jolly well can go home and accomplish more things?
and why must there be so much work and so little time?!
i'm sick and tired of this.
just get lost and leave me alone..