with my head turned away,
I knew you were there, and I didn't dare to turn my head.
I saw you reaching out your hand, my eyes flinched.
Thoughts raced through my head, oh what should I do?
Your hand landed on my shoulder, sending a jolt through my body.
I wanted to reach out and grab it, hold on and never let go.
Yet, I chose to walk on. I couldn't face you. I couldn't face her.
That moment, all I felt was a pang of a regret mishmashed with jealousy.
When the next few text messages came,
all I felt was that I was wrong since the beginning.
We were not meant to be. Why was I so naive?
Your aura was just like his. So bitter and harsh.
At the moment, it was over, and your actions affirmed that you felt the same.
I stood under the shower,
the scalding water trickling down my body.
The only sign that showed I was alive, was the heat and the pain.
I was standing there, yet I was hovering above, thinking, "that poor pearly down there, why isn't she avoiding the heat?"
A long while later, the water started to cool, and my skin was an angry red.
Heat was radiating from the raw patch, and it felt so numb.
"it's over, isn't it? No more pain. Everything's going to be alright".
Hovering in my dream bubble, a sharp sting hit me.
With tear filled eyes, all i could see was a blur of colours.
I saw the neon green handle of a knife, and a cruel sharp blade staring at me.
It gleamed under the light, sending streaks of silver that pierced through the fog.
Crimson red rivulets trickled out of the wound, the taste of iron stood out, and the blood laced my lips.
Looking into the mirror, the face i saw wasn't me, it was a vampire, without a trace of humanity, hollowed eyes, protruding cheekbones and all.
Staring at that image, i ripped the mirror into shreds, as if it were paper.
Masks are all that i had, and they are all that i have now.
i just felt like writing out my thoughts in this manner somehow.
morbid? It's indeed delectable.
False hopes? Fickle mindedness?
Live in your own world, don't trample on my fantasy with your dirt-crusted boots.
(:ʎןɹɐǝdǝʌoןı
not you.
Loaded up to the neck with work today,
so i guess... worshipping God is also spending time with Him right...?
You laid aside Your Majesty.
Lord, no one compares to You.
You gave up everything for me.
How can I continue wasting my days in this manner, focusing on things that are unimportant.
Letting a meagre thing push me down like that.
I'm staying strong in You, Father. I'm going to work hard, to bring the lost back to You.
If there's a June EE, i'm going. Picking it up from where i let off last time.
I pray Lord, grant me the strength and courage, grant me the wisdom.
I really want to bring him to you, Father.
I may not have the skills or anything, please, help me.
Amen.
okay.. time to do newsrooms and study for APGP tmr.
no more vulgar.
Janeh.
♥nןı. that it hurts.
