PRESS THE CUTE RED (X) IF YOU HAVE ANY ALLERGIES. ._.
Jeez is: SCHOOL's TOUGH ; Life loves throwing shit at you ._.
i like this picture :B (tumblr has awesome stuff :D)
i know the words are harsh and all, but somehow, the darker side of me connects with this.
2 personalities, the darkdark one who i try to suppress, and the ":D:D random&lame me".
not tomato sauce, not red paint, stop trying to delude yourself, it's blood.
another photo edit i made with photoshop and paint.
the only modifications made are the shiny gradient and border backgrounds.
the rest are bona fide.
once again, paint FTW :)
well, a lot has been happening these two weeks.
and due to all these things, haven't been able to concentrate during lessons.
when i'm so tired, i drift off.
when i'm troubled, i drift off.
when i'm in deep thought, i drift too.
when i start tearing, i drift off too.
generally, my life sucks.
i feel so distracted, so pissed, so whatever.
i won't be typing everything here, cause i know i shouldn't and i wouldn't.
but i wouldn't hesitate giving a piece of my mind.
just a random scenario from my whole train of thoughts.
.____________.
here goes nothing.
" true love will not be deterred by obstacles, if it were even love, you wouldn't give up so easily. (SHIT I'M STILL TRYING TO BE TACTFUL. my brain aint processing what i want to type ._.) if you really loved me, you would have loved me for whoever i was, you would have braved through every difficulty and barrier that stands before you. it amuses me a lot, when guys run away when i show them a little darkness. cowards, fools, whatever. nothing in life is going to be bloody smooth sailing, you want to sail a boat? go to the sea, don't look for me. (and i assure you that the sea is choppy too.) "problems", guess your love wasn't strong enough to brave through that. all your feeble proclamations came to nought. "i love you", "i want to date you", "i want to be with you", "i will never leave you". i believed in you, i trusted in you, but at the end of the day you proved me wrong. i know you have someone else now, but you just had to tell me "you're not the only one", why bother to be so tactful since you're gonna hurt me and have hurt me anyway? i won't believe any of you anymore. take that i'm a bloody fool who believed that a flirty playboy flirty wouldn't flirt and fool around. and the dumbest part was that i really loved you. i can't help but say i'm disappointed, i can't but help but feel fking hurt. two weeks before, i was really happy, and i thank you for those happy times. but the past two weeks were total hell, i cried almost every other day, i couldn't do anything well. the fkg false hopes you gave me. i don't really know what to say anymore. if you really loved me, you wouldn't have a change of heart so fast. yes, i love you, but i'll get over you someday. take care, and i wish you future happiness with whoever you're chasing/on your mind now. with love, wisdom."
i can't stop crying now,
lot of thoughts are rushing through my head now.
memories and other things too.
i can't type them down, i don't feel secure enough.
the past two weeks have been really tough, and monday & today has been the worst of all.
thanks to those who have been walking me through this tough time.
i love you guys.
:)
i feel like ///ing again.
feel bloody horrible.
don't feel like doing anything more.
studies are horrible, everything's so tough.
pool is a terrible sport for me to vent my anger, all i do is miss cue.
i miss playing basketball, whenever i was angry, i just ran on adrenaline and hatred and thrashed whoever i was against.
now i can't do anything, only bottle up and suffer in silence.
I'M GOING TO PLAY BASKETBALL TMR. & I WONT HESITATE MOWING DOWN WHOEVER WHO STOPS ME. AND I DONT GIVE A DAMN WHETHER I BREAK A LEG OR NOT.
&only in such times, you know who your true friends are.
....can't stop crying. hurting like shit. hurting like shit.
janeh.
